Unfortunately, I didn’t get a chance to line these, just add the dialogue (although on page 3 you’ll see some line-work starting). I understand that some of what’s going on may be lost on the general public. I’m treating this as more of a commission (although no pay- except for an A Pat, *wink wink*) from my co-workers so many of the inside nuances will only be gotten by them. Some slight adjustments have taken place from the original script as I scanned in my drawings and adjusted for best layout, etc.
Today we went over feedback on your 5-page script and hopefully you got some good ideas for how to revise your work. Looking ahead to Wednesday, everyone should prepare 3 pages of your comic or 2 pages and a cover. Since you will be turning in your finished 5 pages a week from today (Monday 6/15), any work you get done for Wednesday is time saved.
When you have your pages and/or cover ready, you can either 1) email the class (i.e. ‘reply all’ to the last class email), 2) post it to this blog, or 3) print out the pages and bring them to class on Wednesday.
If you have any questions about what was covered today, here is the Prezi: http://prezi.com/cqqzu7kgikqz/?utm_campaign=share&utm_medium=copy&rc=ex0share
In class on Wednesday (6/3) everyone was paired up for peer review of your IDS 180 comics. Here is a link to the Peer Review for comic script everyone will fill out for their partner and return to them on Monday.
Now that we have practiced our pitches, everyone will write out the full script for 5-pages of their comic and share it with a classmate. By this Friday (11:59pm on June 5th), you should email your partner your script for the first 5 pages of your comic (and CC me at email@example.com)
Here is the link to today’s Prezi: http://prezi.com/jgaea5owkjkw/?utm_campaign=share&utm_medium=copy&rc=ex0share
Also, here is a link to a full comic script example if you would like a reference point: http://images.darkhorse.com/darkhorse08/company/submissions/ghost_sample_comic_script.pdf
I look forward to seeing your scripts and please let me know if you have any questions.
- Email your partner your script for (at least) 5 pages by Friday (11:59pm on June 5th)
- CC me (firstname.lastname@example.org)
- Fill out the peer review sheet for Monday
- We will discuss feedback in class
A big shot football playing college student, Derek Burton works his way through his senior year as a self identifying feminist amongst his closest friends who are quite the opposite. He exists through each day choosing moments to educate and moments to blend in as he finally has realized that his uniquely intersectional identity can be used as a uniquely impactful tool for social change.
This is supposed to reach budding male feminists who don’t realize they’re feminists yet. It should be relatable over anything and I think if it’s relatable it will be intriguing and entertaining. The most untapped group of feminist minds that are essential to the movement are men. I want this main character to create the space for men to understand how feminism can benefit women in a way that they truly and eagerly want to support but I also want it to be extremely relatable in terms of my main characters experiences through a feminist lens.
I will be telling the story through pictures that I take of a male friend of mine. The tone of the story will be expressed through a college campus setting so that my audience can put themselves in the position of whichever character they most identify with.
The rest of my characters will be Derek’s friends, men and women who come from multiple social groups on campus as Derek leads a publicly (publicly, meaning many students recognize the many “hats” he wears as a feminist, student athlete) intersectional student life. He is quarterback of the football team, a Criminal Justice major who also volunteers in the Women’s Center on the weekends and is passionate about all social justice related issues revolving around his lived experiences.
Derek will be working his way through life as a big name on campus, holding himself to a higher standard as a student athlete, breaking barriers for his closest friends who don’t have a voice when it comes to expressing emotion and personal life experiences as they must maintain their masculine “jock” identity.
Main characters that Derek will be experiencing this journey with:
Cam, Derek’s best friend who is a black, gay man and plays on the football team with Derek.
Lilly, Derek’s girlfriend who leads a life similar to Derek. Very involved on campus, Liberal Studies major, works in the LGBTQ resource center, opened Derek’s eyes to the importance of feminism.
Tyler, another friend of Derek’s, grew up in west Michigan on his family’s farm. He identifies as a “country boy” and leads a very conservative and sometimes exclusive life.
Every experience that Derek has while interacting with his friends through this comic will be an educational experience for the reader and the characters. Each experience will be one we all have run into or will run into at some point in life and Derek will help the audience to work through these circumstances in life in a very real and relatable way.
My longline was
“In a savage post apocalyptic world our protagonist is plagued with debilitating visions of the past Earth. On the verge of succumbing to starvation and exhaustion he is rescued by a mysterious woman. Together they slowly uncover the mystery surrounding their world.”
I want the world to be fairly creepy and mostly kept unexplained. More will be reviled at the end most likely. There will be few pockets of civilization (not advanced) and most people are just trying to survive. A lot of illnesses kill people and irradiated monsters (or something like that, maybe most of the vegetation is poisonous or slowly mutates most people) I’m not too sure on the specifics of the world.
Also my art skill are NOT at all good enough to do this idea justice so I may go with something more suited to my abilities.
- Character one: Protagonist age 16-24 (I’ll call him Kith for now)
- Character 2: older male companion (perhaps a grandfather or someone who has taken Kith in)
- Character 2 takes Kith in as a young boy who has seen horrors beyond his years (parents death etc) (perhaps he has a phobia or is afraid because of this trauma)
- Character 2 is very caring and wise, guiding Kith in life, but perhaps isn’t so good at basics e.g.) catching enough food so they go hungry quite often
- At some point Kith begins to have horrible visions (I don’t know when this will happen, earlier in life when he’s a child or manifesting later) Maybe the visions begin to get worse with age. In any case the visions cause him extreme pain and headaches to the point of debilitation. Kith “sees” things that have to do with death only (maybe because of the trauma suffered in childhood)
- Character 2 Dies earlyish in the book, leaving protagonist to grow as a person, fend for himself, and face new challenges (starting a new chapter in his life)
- This is where the story will really take off
- Kith tries to live on own for a while and be having a lot of trouble
- Then on the brink of death (there are vultures surrounding him at this point) he is saved by a mysterious woman (I’ll call her Drin for now)
- Drin is badass and has very proficient survival skills (Maybe at first she thinks Kith is dead and she was going to eat him for food but instead she takes pity and heals him)
- Drin is a VERY strong female character and takes the lead though most of the story
- I kind of want the story to focus on their mini adventures and relationship (not romantic) with an overarching larger plot
A nameless young man living on his own in a gloomy apartment has nothing left of his family but a dingy floral couch. The couch has been passed down from generation to generation after each of their deaths. He can choose to start and end his legacy on the couch like his ancestors or he can get up and accept a different fate.
I plan for the whole comic to take place inside of the main characters apartment. The apartment is run down, small, and not much to look at. A large single window is in the living area where the couch is. There is nothing special about the couch asides from that it has been in the family for years and it’s a representation of this safety/comfort that makes leaving it, and the community that it has remained in for years, difficult. His ancestors never amounted to anything, never left the community, and died without leaving anything behind. Just the couch. It is as if they never existed and dissolved into the cushions of the hideous floral disaster. Our nameless character realizes that this will be his fate as he wakes up one morning and repeats another unremarkable day that is empty.
I want the tone to be very gloomy at the beginning, dark rooms, dull colors, and very mundane. However the end will be very bright because of what will happen to the couch. Long story short, it will be thrown out of the single window that is in the living room and thus putting the man in light and flooding his dark apartment with sunshine as well. Symbolism ahoy!
The nameless man is in his early 20s. He’s got dark features and green eyes, on the thinner side. He’s a product of his environment. His parents never gave him anything to look up to so he never aspired to anything more.
This is the first draft of a script for a 10 page comic of “Artscapades”.
I’ll clear up a couple things that were mentioned in my feedback. No one is really “aware” of their powers, at least in the sense that they think they can do anything incredible. This will hopefully leave the reader wondering if the things each character is able to accomplish are actually happening or if its all in their head. I’ve included some rough sketches of the cast of characters. The only one not included that is in this particular comic is David, our curator.
That reminds me. These characters are based off of people I actually work with. Nathan (yes, the guy who’s smart-watch is trying to kill everyone) requested I draw everyone once he found out I was taking this class. It as since morphed into its own creature that is entirely out of control.
Panel One: I sit in wingback chair dressed in night robe, fez, bunny slippers, holding a pipe and tumbler of brown liquid (presumably whiskey or brandy) Room is traditional, high-end study w/ book shelf and large drapes in background with small table by chair that has decanter and pipe holder along w/ lamp
Quinn: “Good evening, Friend. Its so nice for you to stop in for a spell. You might wonder why I’ve called you here. And you’d be right to wonder since I didn’t call you at all. You are reading this of your own volition so don’t blame me for your compulsive lack of control.”
Panel Two: Profile of chair with me leaning out of it, blowing bubble pipe and looking stern.
Quinn: I suppose that if you’re going to stick around, I might as well share with you something interesting since no one else ever seems interested in listening to me. Your procrastination to do something worthwhile with your life is my gain.
Panel Three: Picturesque view of AGS with the van (who has little illustrated “zzz” coming from it, because yes, the Sweet Vanilla is alive). Only Jennifer’s car is in the lot (although Chris’s car is pulling into a parking space). Digital clock overlay in top right of panel reads “8:07am”
Quinn: This is the “Art Gallery Services” building, or “AGS” as people who love to create acronyms call it. We start promptly at 8am every morning. No exceptions. Except for this morning. And every other morning. Ok, we just show up whenever the F*#! we want. Nobody really starts to notice until after lunch anyway. Ah, I notice that Jennifer is on time though. Jennifer is always on time. Because she’s Jennifer. And she’s awesome. Don’t you dare say anything to the contrary and I expect you would take the appropriate steps if someone in your company dare say something to the contrary as well.”
Panel One: We get out of Chris’s car. He has kittens on his head, which are a part of his hair. I am mid-toss of throwing my backpack strap over my shoulder.
Chris: Are you sure my hair looks ok? It just feels way too soft and fluffy. I think I used the wrong shampoo.
Quinn: I promise it looks good. Stop using your sister’s shampoo and you won’t have this problem.
Panel Two: Chris and I enter office, waving greeting to Jennifer who is at her desk. Chris is running his hand through his hair, which happens to come across as him just petting one of the cats.
Panel Three-End: Chris and I are sitting at the office while others stream in. Show Alison first, then just squares (maybe set up like the Brady Bunch?) of other people greeting us.
-Nathan’s panel has his watch on his hand he’s waving with which is yelling, “don’t trust them!” His beard is responding with “but they seem nice.”
Panel One: Alison steps out of her cubicle looking chipper
Alison: “Hey could you guys help Steven and Dru load the van?”
Chris and I are already getting up and walking toward the back room with blank expressions on our faces.
Quinn: Chris, we should see if those guys need help loading the van.
Chris: Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.
Panel Two: Steven, Dru, Chris and I are loading a speedpack into Sweet Vanilla, who is rumbling happy noise with excitement to get out of the AGS parking lot. Even though Cathy is no where to be seen, her voice permeates the panel.
Cathy: Oh boy! We’ve got such a good start to the day!
Panel Three: David and Cathy are leaving the front of AGS. Behind them Jennifer’s eye’s glow and her hair becomes weightless.
Jennifer: “Something horrible is going to happen”.
Panel Four: Jennifer looks completely normal now and has a somewhat apathetic look on her face as she is getting up from her desk due to Henry’s summons.
Jennifer: “Not that you’ll listen.”
Henry: “Oh, Jennifer. Would you come in here for a moment?”
Full bleed of Sweet Vanilla. Dru is driving with Chris (who is now wearing a hat) in the passenger seat with the window open. Steven is on top of the van with a mic and stand, shirt and hair blowing in the wind, loudly singing “highway to the dangerzone!”
Panel One: Dru is wiping down plexi box (from inside the box) while Chris and Steven are removing a wrapped object. Cathy is popping a mint while David glances up from his phone to watch them. I’m just looking at the viewer with arms crossed in a “Yep, we’re doing this even though Jennifer told us not too.” type of face.
Panel Two: Close up from behind Chris and Steven as they unwrap object which is now setting on a pedestal. Steven’s hand is just about to touch the now exposed work.
Panel Three: Green light immediately starts glowing from the object, which is actually the green mask from the movie with Jim Carey, “The Mask”.
Panel Four: Steven is hovering above the ground, object in hand, an aura of green around him. He is singing a chant from Jump in the Line. Dru is still inside the plexi box, watching passively but he is also holding a battle axe he randomly obtained. Chris is screaming and running away. David is looking at Steven with a quizzical, but unafraid expression. I’m still standing with arms crossed, body now turned toward Steven. Cathy is clasping her hands in front of her with a look of joy.
(addressing myself more than viewers)
Quinn: Huh, tumblr was right. Evil things do always glow green.
Cathy: How marvelous!
David: Oh, now this is unexpected. The djimcarié tribe believed these masks were imbued with the spirit of mischief, but with the fact that this is a reproduction I assumed it’d be fine.
Panel 1: Close up of Chris with his back to the still singing Steven. He’s stilled himself, a determined look on his face.
Panel 2: Zoom in to Chris’s face, profiled, while the interior monologue starts. (maybe a pop-up bubble to try to explain how we are able to hear Chris’s thoughts- its meta)
Chris(internal): I know what I have to do. I can stop this…
Panel 3: Chris spinns dramatically, holding a very “dragonball Z” type pose with emphasis zig-zags framing him.
Chris: WITH FIRE!
Panel 4: Just Chris’s eyes, as he squints to focus, sweat beads gather on his forehead.
Chris(internal): You can do this, Chris. You’ve done it before. Just focus on the mask.
Panel 5: Steven suddenly is engulfed in flames, but continues to sing. He almost seems as if the fire is feeding the angered spirit.
Panel 6: Chris screams in panic.
Panel 8: Chris is throwing a bucket of water toward the on fire, possessed Steven (who is still singing. He’s possibly started a new song….heads will roll? Or maybe Thriller?) Dru is looming incredibly close behind Steven now, with a trident ready. No one seems to notice. I’m dancing, cus hey, Steven’s great at keeping beat. No one seems freaked out at all that Steven is engulfed in flames.
Quinn: Don’t judge. This song is my jam.”
Page 8: Steven is now soaking wet, but has stopped singing. The mask is on the pedestal and Dru is placing the plexiglass over it. David is gathering up the tools and putting them in the bag. Cathy is admiring the mask. Chris is looking at Steven with intense worry and I’m shrugging.
Steven: So we done?
Repeat of scene with Steven on top of Sweet Vanilla, now singing “we are the champions”